The ability to Un-Toast bread

One of my super-powers is the ability to "Un-Toast" bread that has been toasted. While I can’t reveal the entire process, I will admit that microwave technology is involved. I have demonstrated this to startled family members during get-togethers, and they were left with the dropped jaw of the utterly dumbfounded.

One way I plan to use this power is to make money at local parties and events for children; other potential military applications may be for food rationing of some sort. I can imagine that our military leaders may well have hundreds of uses for my proven abilities. I promise you this, if my super-powers can be used to end the age of terrorism, bring peace to the middle east, or even provide food for all the starving nations, I will do so for very little personal profit.

I only plan to charge your world’s governing bodies a fair market value for my abilities. I do expect full co-operation and payment in gold bullion or spanish pieces-o-eight, so as to avoid the monetary impracticalities of temporal dislocation and associated tax fiends of certain un-named governments.

Here is my plan in a nut-shell:

each toast is valued at $0.5 cents per universal slice.

10000 Universal Slices = $5000.00 US 2025 dollars per day 50000 Universal Slices = $25000.00 US 2025 dollars per day

The miracle will performed nightly at the Flush Lounge at the Luxor in Las Vegas, Nevada. Mostly I will depend on the sale of trinkets and t-shirts to fuel my empire of world-wide charity and good works for a needy public. I consider myself the champion of all down-trodden peoples and also plan to publish various books of poetry for inspiration to those hopeless and fatigued by our present condition or lack of ability.

The Cost per Universal Slice as listed above will merely be a stipend of sorts to help ends meet. I will of course not be endorsing any products for that style is beneath my character. If one should request my endorsement, I should think they might be startled by the harsh reaction received from me. Let not them cast any inclinations towards their greed, rather my hand, inflated by the will of millions, shall smack them from on high, as does all injustice in the end.

I am weary from status and its ill wind, which has cast me so high while leaving others so leavened, so that at the end of the day, my very reflection bears down upon me with some gravity as I posit to resist these Earthly temptations. Let there be no mistake among my fellow or let no person charge me for groceries or common consumer goods, for it is not theft. Levitating your stock from your storage to yours out the will of my guilty hand, as I continue to suffer your ignorance and contempt for my very abilities on which you yourself and yours are so depended.