It's that time of year: Dracula stories

I'm Dracula
this is comedy>

Dracula applying for a job
"Hi I'm Dracula"

Dracula getting his car washed
"I'm here about the car, I'm Dracula"

Dracula playing a video game
"Dracula's princess is in another castle"

Dracula working in the Coal mine
He say, "my lungs are as dark as my soul"

Dracula playing the action game ConnectFour
"pretty sneaky sis, Dracula lose again"

Dracula at cocktail party
"Hi i'm Dracula"

This is my machine and its function is to write Dracula stories. It will write 45 stories every hour for fifteen million years and then it will stop. Directly thereafter it will tell jokes to children using sign language.